


Hokage Protection Detail

by 50_points_for_ravenclaw



Category: Naruto
Genre: A little bit of plot, Desk Sex, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Office Sex, One Shot Collection, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, tags to be added as each one shot is written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 19:38:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16248464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50_points_for_ravenclaw/pseuds/50_points_for_ravenclaw
Summary: A chronicle of Konoha's Hokages getting up to some inappropriate activities in the hokage office and the poor souls forced to bear witness.A.K.A. You can't tell me that all the hokages didn't get down and dirty in the hokage office at least once, forgetting about the ANBU guards hiding in the ceiling who have to just sit back and watch it all happen.





	Hokage Protection Detail

The ANBU had seen a lot they weren’t necessarily meant to since their conception back during the era of the First Hokage. Some of it was on purpose -- it was their job to spy and gain intel after all. But some things they wished they’d never had to witness.

By the fourth time Hashirama had taken a long, inadvisable nap in his office, it was easy for Tiger to assume that the hokage had forgotten he had eyes on him at all times. Luckily for Hashirama, ANBU members were sworn to secrecy and strictly loyal to their hokage, not that Tiger had any interest in tattle-telling to Mito Uzumaki or Tobirama Senju anyways. Nothing in the world could convince him to voluntarily face their wrath.

He’d been on Hokage Protection Detail for almost a year now. Things still remained relatively calm since the creation of Konoha, even with the growing tensions after Madara’s betrayal. Hashirama had been doing everything he could to keep the fractured ties between the five great nations in tact, but Tiger had a feeling his relaxed position watching over their village leader wouldn’t hold out much longer. 

He was ashamed to say he was a little relieved. Being cooped up in the ceiling of the hokage’s office grew boring and tiresome after days and weeks and months. It would be nice to at least have a partner to sit with in quiet during the long hours. He was thankful he only had to do so alone for 12 hours at a time before he was relieved, though he would do almost anything to switch with the night guard that got the opportunity to move around freely more often than he at his position outside the hokage’s house. 

He did have the perks of a good story from time to time. Tiger had almost single-handedly been fueling the gossip mill among the ANBU common room with tales of Hashirama’s antics. He’d probably seen it all at this point. If he hadn’t seen Hashirama in battle himself, he would be hard pressed to believe the man to be anywhere near what the legends said of him. 

Tiger toyed with the kunai he’d plucked from his utility belt. He’d been practicing different ways to maneuver his ninja tools between his fingers and hands in increasingly elaborate ways. The kunai had already thumped against the wooden beam he was crouched on a couple times now. Each time he froze, narrowing his eyes at the sleeping form below him, only to shake is head when the body didn’t so much as stir at the sound. He could probably drop a scroll on Hashirama’s head and still get no response.

He almost dropped the kunai again when the office door creaked open but managed to snag it from the air before it could escape the shadow he’d camouflaged himself in. Tiger watched as the hokage’s wife stepped into the room calmly and quietly. He waited for loud reprimanding words or even a glare and was delightfully surprised when she simply closed the door behind her with a soft click. He frowned when she turned the lock.

Her steps were silent, a talent only an experienced shinobi had, as she walked over to the desk and propped herself against the edge of it right next to where Hashirama’s head was resting. She was careful not to sit on the long silky hair spread across the wood, pinching the strands delicately between her fingers and moving them back over her husband’s shoulder. Her hands remained there long enough to run across his scalp a few times. Hashirama stirred with the sensation.

“You haven’t been sleeping,” Mito said lowly, voice tinted with a hint of disapproval. 

Hashirama groaned and rolled his face across the desk back and forth before looking up at her through a curtain of dark hair. She tsked at him, pushing the hair back behind his ear.

“Be glad it was me that found you and not Tobirama,” she continued. Her husband winced dramatically. “You should be sleeping more at home, and then you wouldn’t nap while you’re supposed to be working.”

“You know it isn’t that easy, Mito,” he sighed. The way he slumped in his chair seemed to pronounce the bags under his eyes.

“Your nightmares are getting worse,” she said.

Tiger was shocked a moment, but he supposed even hokages were human enough to know fear and regret. He could only imagine what plagued a god-like man’s dreams.

“Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to stop them,” Hashirama said. “There is no medicine or jutsu to cure bad dreams.”

“If there were, you or Tobirama would have discovered it by now,” Mito agreed chuckling. “Sometimes I wonder how you have time for diplomacy when you two are so busy inventing new ways to worry me.”

“That’s where you come in, my love,” Hashirama said cheekily.

Mito shoved his smiling face to the side, though the way she trailed her fingers over the top of his ear afterward negated the action. Tiger had never seen her so gentle. She’d always made it a purpose to remain collected, hard, even cold at times when dealing with shinobi and ANBU operatives. He hadn’t thought to wonder what she was like in privacy. He guessed this was the reason why the citizens loved her so much. Her hidden compassion was quite enthralling.

“I never imagined it would turn out this way,” Hashirama said softly after a long moment of shared silence. “I thought we had the same dream. I thought he wanted the same things for the future as I.”

“He was never the same after Izuna’s death. You told me that yourself,” Mito said. “You can’t blame yourself for how he chose to deal with his grief. You tried.”

“I know,” Hashirama said. “I know.”

Tiger tried his best not to fidget. It was fairly obvious what they were speaking of now, and he didn’t think it was appropriate for him to be listening to such a private conversation. He had no choice in the matter, though; he couldn’t leave his post. This had always been a possibility, and he had heard many more incriminating and top secret words in his time as the hokage’s bodyguard.

He heard shuffling from below and glanced away from the kunai he’d directed his attention to in an attempt to afford them as much privacy as he could. He blanched beneath his mask when he saw Mito sliding into her husband’s lap right in his chair.

Hashirama’s eyes had widened though he didn’t hesitate to reach for her. The kimono she wore was draped thickly over her figure, hiding any curves her body may have otherwise boasted, but Hashirama didn’t seem to have any trouble finding the narrowest part of waist and holding it firmly enough to settle her comfortable across his legs. Mito cupped her hands around his cheeks and rested her forehead against his.

“You need to turn off your brain for once,” she whispered in the small space between them.

“That seems a bit hypocritical,” Hashirama muttered. 

Mito’s resulting snort was perhaps more shocking than the way she leaned down to kiss her husband softly, unreservedly with no hurry behind the action. They’d wrapped their arms around each other, pressed close in an intimate gesture Tiger knew he should never have bared witness to. As the kiss continued, long and slow and growing deeper as the seconds passed, he thought again of the locked office door and swallowed thickly. He might need to resign after this.

“This is quite out of character for you,” Hashirama said with a heady exhale as they parted. “What brought this on?”

“You need to relax,” Mito said simply. “And it’s been too long since we’ve had the time for intimacy.”

Tiger almost choked on his own saliva but managed to stifle any sounds behind his mask. He couldn’t stop a quick look back down at the scene just in time to catch sight of a growing, mischievous smile on the hokage’s face before he dove forward to press his lips against his wife’s neck.

Mito granted him the access easily, tilting her head with a satisfied hum and letting her eyes fall shut. It was only as Hashirama began to push her kimono out of the way until it slid from her shoulder that Tiger realized she wasn’t wearing her usual more formal outfit, her ever present hair accessories missing and kimono a more simple, casual affair. Then he swiftly turned away, trying to ignore the heat he could feel in his cheeks at having even observed the hokage’s wife’s state of dress when she was in such a vulnerable position.

It was difficult not to let his eyes wander back down to the hokage’s desk with every shift and creak he heard. He didn’t exactly have much to look at up here in the dark alcove of the ceiling, though the ant crawling passed him suddenly became the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. He cringed when he heard paper fall to the floor and muffled laughter. 

“Remember to stay quiet,” Mito said breathily.

“You should heade your own words, my love,” Hashirama chirped back. 

There was a small gasp, one Tiger couldn’t tell the origin of, before it was interrupted by the gentle smacking of lips joined. Tiger inhaled slowly before releasing the breath even more slowly, repeating the action over and over with an amount of focus he’d never afforded anything else. When a louder creak rang through the room, his eyes moved on instinct and then froze.

Hashirama had laid his wife out across the hokage’s desk. Her robes luckily were still billowed around her, though they’d slipped off her shoulders, exposing pale collarbones and the tops of small, round breasts. Mito’s legs were almost completely bear as the kimono had been hiked up at the insistence of Hashirama’s hips nestled between her thighs. He was fumbling between their bodies with a slow kind of urgency.

Tiger couldn’t help but watch as Hashirama seemingly found his way and pushed himself flush against his wife. They were breathing heavily at this point, hands reaching, searching for touch. He leaned down to kiss Mito deeply with strong affection. Tiger would almost admire the love obvious in their expressions if he didn’t happen to be witnessing it at the same time as his hokage began to thrust forward. 

“You’re always so gentle,” Mito moaned. She sounded as if she was trying to be disappointed though couldn’t quite manage around the pleasure fighting its way up her throat.

“You’ve never complained before,” Hashirama said, grunting with his movements. 

Mito laughed breathily, body arching away from the desk as she exhaled noisily. Hashirama took advantage of their close proximity and laved sloppy kisses across her chest. Small fingers found his hair and gripped it tightly, pulling him closer. Tiger could just see the corner of his mouth pull up into a grin.

“Better make this quick before someone comes looking for you,” Mito said. 

She pulled that much harder on Hashirama’s thick hair, and he let out of rumbling, growling noise. He pressed his nose roughly to the skin of her throat.

“I don’t think I’ll have any problems with that,” he said strained. “It really has been a while.”

The desk protested as their movements sped up. It was as Hashirama’s expression began to pinch and his body began to jerk uncontrollably that Tiger was finally able to tear his eyes away. Just in time, too. As his eyes found the dark wooden structure above him again he heard a few deep groans and the sound of the desk scraping across the floor. Then it fell silent except for the sound of heavy breathing. 

Tiger himself had stopped breathing a couple minutes back and could feel his head growing light. Maybe if he held out long enough, he would simply faint and wake up to a world where nothing traumatizing at all was happening in the hokage’s office. Eventually he released the oxygen burning in his lungs and closed his eyes in despair.

“You didn’t…” Hashirama murmured from below.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mito said. “I got what I wanted.” He could hear them standing and readjusting their clothes. “Besides, you can finish what you started tonight at home.”

“I mostly definitely will.” Tiger imagined the words were meant to sound lecherous, but the obvious smile in Hashirama’s voice negated the intention some. 

They kissed again softly before Mito helped to gather the papers that had gone fluttering to the floor back into a semi-organized pile. Hashirama offered to walk her out, but a pointed look at his mussed hair and flushed face had him contritely settling back into his chair.

“You better not let your impromptu naps affect your work,” Mito said as she stepped over to the door. “Next time, I won’t be so lenient if I catch you.”

Hashirama grinned sheepishly, shoulders coming up around his ears. Tiger had no idea how she managed to look so condescending and put together when she’d just been spread out across the hokage’s desk. 

“Yes, dear,” the First Hokage, perhaps the strongest person to ever exist in past, present, or future, said demurely.

Mito nodded with smug satisfaction. She gave a quick swipe at her bottom lip with a thumb before turning and unlocking the door, striding out as if nothing had happened.

“I’ll see you at home,” she said as she exited.

Hashirama sighed long and slow, sinking down in his chair in the way only a man who’d been brought to the brink could. His smile was dopey, an expression Tiger had witnessed a few times before. He wondered if maybe the reason had been the same those past few times but quickly dismissed that thought process. He didn’t need to know anymore of his leader’s sex life than he already did.

Later as he relaxed after his shift in the ANBU common room, having just finished filling out his report, he heard Crow and Bear start up a conversation about Tobirama promising some new juicy information. He thought for a moment of bringing up what he’d witnessed in the hokage’s office. It surely would be the juiciest piece of gossip to ever be uttered in this room and would most likely gain him quite a few popularity points among his peers. Then he reimagined the scene for just a second and immediately locked away the memory forever, never to be revealed to anyone. Tiger would take that particular secret to his grave. He didn’t think he could relive the trauma and come out alive again anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> This one isn't all that explicit but I'm hoping to get a little more raunchy with some of the others. This should be fun.
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr: [50-points-for-ravenclaw](http://50-points-for-ravenclaw.tumblr.com/) (:


End file.
